Monday, May 4, 2009

Anger takes away power

I've been noticing lately how effective anger is in taking away my power.

I'm the kind of person who is very sensitive to noises around me, so when my neighbors play their stereo too loud or let their yappy dogs yap at one am, it just makes me really angry. So much so that I either just sit and stew, which is no good for me, or I knock on their door to "talk" to them about it. When I'm angry, I'm very aggressive and I just want to shout at them. Invariably, that just results in their shouting back at me, and the music stays loud. When I go talk to my neighbor in a calm voice, she'll usually listen attentively and turn it down. Invariably, when I'm angry, I yell and nothing gets done.

The anger saps my power and then I make choices to please the anger, not to help myself, and those choices are always the wrong ones. By allowing the anger to have power over me, I lose my power.

There are those who are fueled by anger. I hear stories about football players who play their best games when they are really pissed off. They have figured out, or maybe their just wired that way, to use the power generated from anger to help themselves.

I don't know if I can generalize for all people with MS, but anger has never taken me to a good place, it's only taken me to more darkness. My choice is either to learn how to decrease my anger, which involves dealing with my fears (more about this later), or learn to channel the anger for my good.

I guess that's the question for y'all: does anger motivate you to help or harm yourself? Does it focus you? Or send you off in the wrong directions?

4 comments:

  1. generally angers main achievement is to throw me off balance...and as a person with ms, I certainly don't need any help with loosing my balance. I think there are ways to watch the anger and then, once it settles, if it is about something important like "justice" for example...use that transformed energy to act constructively and go out and make a difference in the world. IMHO...that's the best use of anger.

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  2. Laura,

    I absolutely agree. Anger that can be transformed into change is a very strong source of power. In Chinese Medicine, anger transforms into Love (wood to fire). If you can make the transformation, then the anger is very powerful. My issue is that I often get stuck in the power and that drains both my power and my health.

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  3. I like to embrace my anger, and direct it into constructive activities. I get "fired up" thinking of things that make me angry and use it if I need motivation

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  4. Anger can be powerful motivation. In Chinese medicine, the energetic of anger is like a fist bursting forth. It needs direction. If you give the anger direction, you can harness the energy for your own purposes in a good way.

    Too often, I find that I can't direct my anger at all. It just bounces around inside me and sends me off in the wrong directions (powerfully). I know that I need to calm down before I respond to something that makes me angry.

    It sounds like you are using "cold" anger, where you think about things in the past to direct them. Can you do it when you have just been made angry? With the "hot" anger?

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